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with me at all, and I did not like him much. My aunt had had so much trouble from drinking in the family that she had a horror of it. She never considered that I needed boy companions at all. All that mattered was keeping me away from any knowledge of drink, and from any real knowledge of life, and to see that I went to church and Sunday School. I never had a boyfriend in for a meal and had few to visit.

According to the experts I should have almost be- come a girl. Since I naturally saw a lot of my cousin's undressing, I should have become interested in her body and especially in her clothes, and tried to dress in them whenever I had a chance which would have been quite often. Actually I had no interest in anyone's body and till still later had no knowledge of the diff- erence in the sexes. I paid no attention to their clo- thes, except perhaps to think that girl's and women's clothes were very tight and awkward. What does puz- zle me is that considering how interested I became in corsets when about sixteen, that I have no recollection at all of my mother's. my aunt's or especially my cou- sin's corsets though I must have seen them almost ev- ery night till I got my own room. My cousin of course was very tight-laced. Unfortunately I had no contact with girls at all and wanted none except with my young cousin who was more like a boy. We played together, she taught me to ride a bicycle, and tried to get me interested in skating and boys games that I was no good at and so would not try to learn. I was clever at school but my main, almost my only interest was in building and machinery. I would watch carpenters and masons by the hour, and they taught me a lot even at that age. I spent as much time as I could at the local machine shop. The foreman was very good to me showed me many things and he and his wife took almo- st more interest in me than my own people.

My first fetish sort of interest was in girls button boots especially when worn by boys as they often were, as they were so much neater and better looking. I su- ppose I wore them when small as almost all boys did when in the usual dresses and long hair. But I remem- ber nothing of all that. I was told that I was first put into pants when I had to have new clothes when an

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